On the Lighter Side: No Laughs For Kamala

Democrat Candidate Kamala Breaks Tradition, Runs from Catholic Charity ... But We Roast Her Anyway

By Greg Maresca

Kamala Harris declined an invitation to the Al Smith Dinner hosted by the Archbishop of New York, Cardinal Timothy Dolan. The dinner annually raises money for Catholic charities supporting women and children in need. She is the first Democrat presidential nominee to decline the event since Walter Mondale in 1984, who went on to lose in a landslide to Ronald Reagan.

The dinner is a good-natured affair where the presidential candidates poke fun at each other.

In politics, possessing a sense of humor is essential and dates back more than two millennia. Roman politician and orator Cicero used humor to charm audiences — and humiliate opponents. Cicero, as Anthony Everitt, his most recent biographer, reports, “specialized in the brutal put-down.”

Sound familiar?

There is no substitute for timing when delivering a joke. Not everyone can do it, let alone write their own material. Political word salads espoused daily by politicians have plenty of parallels to writing comedy: hyperbole, satire, and sarcasm. And every presidential candidate that ever stood on the dais at the Al Smith dinner had a legion of writers compiling material for them that, for one night, outranked every speech writer they employed.

During his political lifetime, which spans more than half a century, Biden was the best political but unwitting comedian in his price range.

Kamala skips Al Smith - but she can't get away that easily. Anyone paying attention and maintaining a healthy sense of humor will recognize how many of these one-liners seemingly wrote themselves, while at the same time, would never get a play on late-night TV.

Harris wants to be reelected to solve the enduring problems since she was last elected.

After being named border czar, Harris did indeed travel to the southern border to cut the blue ribbon and celebrate its grand reopening.

Harris underscored her bi-racial roots in her convention acceptance speech in Chicago, noting that her father is Black and her mother is Indian. During the riots in the ‘60s, her father looted her mother’s 7-Eleven.

The irony of modern politics had Biden’s nomination outsourced to an Indian.

If you are still wearing a COVID mask while driving alone, your Harris-Walz bumper sticker is unnecessary.

Harris’s incessant eye-rolling, phony accents, and cackling laugh make her America’s ex-wife.

Early mail-in vote-rigging reveals Harris with a huge lead after truckloads of illegals crossed the border carrying duffle bags filled with completed ballots.

 The Biden/Harris administration’s recent hurricane response was such a disaster that FEMA has set up their trailers on the White House lawn.

Doug Emhoff, the husband of Harris, was accused by an ex-girlfriend of slapping her as she flirted with another man. Emhoff also impregnated his daughter’s nanny. When confronted by a female reporter about his past, Emhoff didn’t know whether to knock her up or knock her out.

At least four known international teams are working to kill Trump, six if you count ABC News and the women of “The View.” These are the only jobs Democrats know how to create. Being our DEI president, Biden vowed the next potential assassin of Trump would be a woman of color. At the same time, the rest of the Democrat party accuses Trump of inciting more assassination attempts by not dying.

The DOJ, FBI, CIA, and the folks at the DHS have declared that they will no longer engage in lawfare against Trump and instead will offer a peace offering of a dozen pagers.

Attorney General Merrick Garland reminded anyone who pays attention to him that questioning the results of a lawful election is illegal — unless Trump wins.

Harris survived a recent unscheduled interview when a reporter fired off several questions before being subdued by the Secret Service. The scribe was found to be in possession of a laptop, a spiral notebook, several pens, and a cell phone. The Secret Service advised the Harris campaign to avoid all public appearances from now through Election Day.

The notable Fox News interview was such a disaster for Harris that FEMA sent her a $750 check as she continues to try and figure out how to convert joy into groceries.

The Secret Service emergency code word for the Harris campaign: Interview.

If Harris wins, the most pressing question is whether she will appoint her old boss, former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown, to her cabinet … or just blow him off.

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